lovaliss's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My parents. I realize that my scoffings and sneers at a mediocre life ever lived in Star Valley is me directly disapproving of my parents lives. Republican. Middle Class. Blue Collar. Two jobs. Rural. "Uneducated". These are my parents. This is the kind of life that I make these type of remarks towards: "It makes me sick to my stomach to think of getting stuck in a place like this..." "Those kind of people are all for America because they've never been anywhere else..." "I don't want to marry someone that isn't competent enough to live anywhere, including a major city..." I didn't realize until today that I have been talking about my parents. I've been scoffing my parents. I feel ashamed. I feel like a monster. I feel like crying. They've given me so much. My dad was really poor growing up so he has always worked two jobs to support us. We've always had enough money and a little extra to do things for fun. They took us on a family vacation every year. As a kid my dad wished for something like that so much. My dad moved almost every year as a kid and he hated it so bad that he swore he'd never do that to his kids. So he settled down and bought a house so we had a stable place to live and call home. My mom loves animals, she loves her horses. She loves riding in the mountains. She is a quiet lady but quick to laugh, and generally unconfident and shy, but incredibly kind and selfless. My parents aren't educated, but are very smart, common-sense type people. Neither of them are very social, but we have a great time together! We make movies even though my dad's acting is terrible! They've always been there for everything I've ever been involved in, and always let us be whatever we wanted to be. If we had a dream and wanted to do something, they'd do whatever they could to help make it happen and encourage us. My dad used to wake up at 5 am and take me down to the church gym so I could practice basketball. He'd stand under the hoop and rebound my ball, throw it back to me, and wait for the next shot, most of the time he had to run after it while I just stood in the same spot waiting to retry again. He was never very good at sports. He did this every morning my entire Freshman year, without ever letting on once that he was tired or hated it. I didn't know that until he told me with a laugh a year ago that he despised waking up so early and that he was always tired at work because of it. My mom got money from her dad when he died and at the same time I decided I wanted to go to beauty school. She took the money she got from her dad and paid my $9000.00 tuition up front saying, "I was going to invest it, but I think you're a good investment." And never once has mentioned it or held it over my head. These things maybe mean nothing to any of you that read this, but tears are streaming down my face. I don't know why I've been so insistant that I not be like my parents...I don't know what they could have done better. I see a lot of things I could have done better. I've taken them for granted, taken my charmed life for granted. I hope I'm a lot like my parents. 12:34 p.m. - 2005-07-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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