lovaliss's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello Will Booth I saw a boy from high school in the DMV. He smiled curtly at me and tossed out, "How's it going?" as he sat down next to me. Will Booth. His name popped into my head instantly, almost before I really even thought about it. We sat there next to each other in silence and I thought---I don't have to say anything and he won't say anything to me...but if I did say something...ah what the hell! I'll say something! "You're name is Will right?" "Yeah..." he says slowly. Immediately trying to figure out in his mind who I am. I'm secretly surprised, but not offended, that he doesn't know who I am, more so that he can't recognize me---I get this a lot lately when I go home, people don't know it's me, which I don't understand, yes my hair is shorter but my face is still exactly the same! "Are you...did you graduate with me...or are you...how old are you?" I stutter. "Twenty-one he says." "Oh you're renewing your liscence then!? Me too, do I need to fill out one of those papers?" "Yeah, I'll get you one...I'm sorry, you look familiar, but what's your name?" "Alissa Skinner." I feel awkard saying my own name like that, also intensely aware that whatever he was thinking of me before I said my name could now be dramatically altered. I was free before I said it, I could be anyone, but now he knew. And everything he thought I was would now come back. His eyes kind of open up wide and he smiles, "Oh my gosh...yeah, sorry I didn't recognize you. Yeah, I graduated in 2003, just a year behind you..." This is the first time I have ever talked to this boy and I can still see that he is shocked to think that A) I know his name and B) I'm talking to him so casually and friendly-like. I realize that what I assume people remember of me and think of me is probably more paranoia in my mind than it really is fact. However, I am still always very very aware that almost everyone I see at home has an inaccurate idea of who I am...I guess that happens to people who spend their time trying to cover up or alter who they are. It's my own fault. I smile warmly at him as he get's up to leave and he says, "Have a good one..." still a little hesitant but sincere. "Thanks." 4:11 p.m. - 2005-07-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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