lovaliss's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- arrived in mt When I haven't seen Isaac in a long time I am extremely quiet for about the first hour I'm with him...and then I get quiet again before I leave. He pointed this out about me. He is right. Only he said I act really "creepy" the first while that I'm here. I knew I felt that way but didn't think it was so obvious. I don't really have an explanation besides that it kind of surprises me everytime to see him again...it's like my mind has to accept that he's really there in front of me...and I always feel like there is nothing to say. Which isn't true once I settle down and get comfortable. I know I stop talking when I have to leave because I am always overwhelmed with this sadness... He said it's like I want to say something but don't say anything. I think he's right. I think I always want to spew out everything, vomit my insides, because it all comes to the surface when I am standing in front of him. Now never seems to be the time to say what I want to say, do what I want to do, or be how I want to be...timing is just off. So I just shut everything off and sit in silence. But the in between times are great! We ate sushi tonight...mmmm and rented movies. I also chopped a huge chunk in my finger while cutting hair...the deepest I've ever cut...it hurt, bad. 12:34 a.m. - 2005-06-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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